Mysterious darshan

I have commented on this post at several times here, but the confusion is hard to sort. This episode looks like a case of enlightenment in a guru field and I was under pressure to declare myself enlightened by the x entity, as propaganda. I resisted because it wasn’t an experience of enlightenment. I have attacked Gurdjieff who was right at least in one sense that there are a whole series of things round about ‘enlightenment’.

Here’s the real story, which I had forgotten: the experience (or non-experience) was an illustration of the ‘will’ factor, hence its miraculous character.

This goes back many years to the period after passing through the Gold circle (I was never a part of any of that, or of sufism) I went through a period of multiple guru fields PLUS under the Gold influence a study of Crowley’s works. It was the beginning of the period of doubts about gurus, and there were a lot of them, the absolute worst being Da free John, that gross mess of a teacher and sordid vampire. I resolved to never use any part of Crowley’s magick, but did allow myself a reading of his books, and I read all of them (many at the NY public library), including the toxic and dangerous whatever it was grimoire of Abramelin the Mage, Crowley’s main text. I bought a copy of the book, tore out one page, and threw out the rest. I resolved to never perform this ritual, but to consider the issue of will about which occultists have no monopoly. Will and the question of gurus, renouncing both. This was a period where I finally gave up on crowley and on gurus, and I recall in one episode walking across the rockies from boulder to small town fifty miles away where I go a job. It was a resolve to transcend the duality of guru’s and magical occultism. This was no small sacrifice since self-defense against a clear crowleyan like Gold can lead to many temptations to equalize by studying black magic. Better to roll with the punches and let the karma being that of the perp.

so to make a long story short my approach to the Osho field via freight train triggered this earlier ‘magical vow’ as the non-dual ‘will’ beyond ‘will’ and gurus. so what was happening was the real effect of what Crowley pointed to in his Abramelin operation, but totally different.

That is, this was an experience, or non-experience of the unseen action of the ‘will’, which I had had many times before. And which seems to be something beyond my ego or will, to say the least. It is the sufi world of the miraculous, a deeper, yet lesser realm close to perhaps, but not enlightenment. So this was quite different from interacting with a guru field, although that may have interacted with it.

Please, do NOT EVER perform Crowley’s Abramelin ritual (it is not his). Stay away from the occult and magick, and maybe one day the action of the ‘will’ will come to you.

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